Sold to the Gypsies

What’s wrong with the wife today? (Part 1)

sheridan501 — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:23:23 +0000

So, every day I’ll try to post, “What’s wrong with the wife today?” entries. The goal of this exercise is to track the wife’s moods from day-to-day. Generally there is always something bothering her and by tracking her mood swings, I aim to prove that I’m not crazy, but slowly going mad as a result of these swings.

So for the inaugural entry, I was just informed by my wife that, “things aren’t so good at work”. This usually means that her boss is “giving her grief”. It tells me that she is unhappy and despite my advise that look on the brighter side, that she is going on vacation next week. She will not look at it that way. Such are the ways of an energy vampire.

Getting Drunk

sheridan501 — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 03:40:14 +0000

Fininshed last beer. I think there is some white wine in th fridge. So pissed that i married this woman. the gpsy needs to drop her off of the back of tha cart. yeah. kids involved. not a good thing. stupid. Whers the wine.

Heartburn

sheridan501 — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 20:47:40 +0000

Nice. I have a nasty case of heartburn. I woke up at about 1 a.m. and thought I was going to lose it. The pizza and 5 bottles of Guinness Extra, didn’t help my case earlier in the evening. The Gypsy likes to imbibe, what I like to refer to as “Mother’s Milk”. I hope that in my travels as a wandering gypsy that I make it to the Guinness Brewery one day. I’ll have to ditch the old harridan, Mrs. Gypsy before I can consider the journey.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

sheridan501 — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:25:28 +0000

Happy Patties Day to all the Gypsy Irish out there!

coupla good things

sheridan501 — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:38:13 +0000

I’m going to take a moment to write a few positive things. Because I’ve become inherently cynical, cold and ever-so blah; I believe equal time for some of the good things need to be listed.

The baby has two new teeth. Her first!

The baby has started crawling.

The little monkey cries when I leave the room now (she likes me!)

X-Mas Gifts

sheridan501 — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:33:27 +0000

So, I’m kind of excited about Christmas this year. I basically have no idea about what I’ll receive from the wife this time around. I do know that I’ll be receiving enough Best Buy gift certs to purchase a PlayStation 3. I campaigned for this one because I really want to watch Blu Ray discs on it. I probably won’t be playing too many games on it, because of the lack of decent titles for this platform. I already have a XBox 360, which suits me fine for my gaming needs. Other than that, it’s all a mystery to me.

Speaking of mysteries. When it comes to the holiday with the wife’s family, they really take the fun out of guessing and the giving of gifts. It seems like they state what they want and so and so will run out and get it for them. I need an iDock or Sue wants something from Macy’s. What will then happen is a gift card exchange for a pre-set value is purchased and sent via some transportation medium to said recipient. On my end, I will then receive a card for my vendor of choice, to spend as I please. The problem in this is that i could have kept my 50 bucks and saved money on the postal fees for sending the gift card in the first place.

Chubby Monkey Resolution

sheridan501 — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:21:33 +0000

Ya, the end of the year is approaching and it’s time to take inventory what needs to be done for the new year… This year’s resolutions will include the popular, “I gotta loose 30 lbs and quit smoking (again)”. Other than than there are a myriad of other things I’d like to do. Get a new job, get the house ready to sell, make a mint doing something that I like to do (any suggestions are welcome) and find a new wife. I’m always looking for the next ex-Mrs. Gypsy.

X-Mas is a-coming

sheridan501 — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:48:08 +0000

Ya, about 16 days till Christmas. I’ve bought 3 gifts so far. I must be lazy.

Toilet Etiquette (Today’s Peeve)

sheridan501 — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 16:38:34 +0000

Yeah, gotta get this one out of the way now. This festering wound of a pet peeve has been bothering me for a while. It’s the way other men treat the bathroom where they work. Ususally in the morning, I like to do my business in peace, without hassle or having my blood pressure redline from one thing or another. Any where that you work, you are going to have to share the bathroom with quite a few people. In this case there are about 100 or so people that work on this floor. Of them there are probably 50-60 guys that use the same thrones for their sit down business.

Now if you are a creature of habit, you find yourself usually sitting in the same sit day in and day out. Same stall, same time in the morning. If you are lucky, you can grab a stall that hasn’t been sullied by someone elses funky ass sweat, hair, skin leavings and so on. The particulary nasty folks will either stand up to urinate in the without lifting the seat, dribbling urine everywhere or rush in to evacuate themselves painting the inner rim some god awful color of brown. I swear yesterday, I saw something that looked like blood.

To think that we have advanced this far, that people don’t take the time to clean up after themselves or at the very minimum use the urinal instead of making the rest of us miserable.

Additionally, what is going on with those poor souls that grunt and groan like they are giving birth. Do you really need to let your stall mates know that you are pooping. I wish I had a recorder to capture the sounds that I hear. The fffpphhwumping ass noises coupled with the unmanly whimpered groans that emanate from left to right. Seriously, I’ve heard guys on either side panting as they unload themselves before returning to their cubes. It’s nauseating and chilling.

Day One

sheridan501 — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:43:48 +0000

Here we are at day one. This should seem to be a good way to separate the bad from the good in my head. I think mostly the observations and so forth will serve to purge the bad from the good. It’s never a good idea to carry a lot of shit around in the head. It’s a wonder that I haven’t already fallen over from the amount that’s in it right now.